We see what we want to see

Normally we see what we want to see, depending upon our interest or stakes in the subject.
Our thinking is very much flexible and is always guided by the inner wish or our interest. There are very few people who have the art of getting into the details of the subject irrespective of their interest. Those who have nurtured this art are always ahead of time.

In a group discussion if we are interested in the subject then we will evaluate all the possibilities from all angles. We will listen to all points and understand the others point of view. Example, if we are not interested in the buying the house then we hear or see only those things which support ‘reasons for not buying this house’. We may not even look at the opportunities that may turn up later. And if we are interested then we may look for all the reasons for why it should be bought.

This fact is worth examining because if we understood this then the frustration levels will come down drastically (if any). The point is that our focus or our attention is deeply governed by the inner wish or where our interest lies through perception. It may works sometime but, most of the time this habit will stop us looking into the reality as is and secondly we may not look into the opportunities we may have in front of us. This also reflects in our day to day life and day to day discussions we do.

Other way of putting this is that we perceive things (based on our interest & understanding) and then try to give them a meaning. If this perception is close to reality then we will see the reality as it is and the results of our action would be better. In this case the chances of mistakes are less. But when the influence of perception on reality is very high, the information flow is diluted and things turn out in wrong direction.

First things are to validate above statement with experience.
· Try and observe the way our discussion progress. If the same point is being discussed for more the required time,
· Then check whether influence of your perception on the reality. If you find reality is different than correct it for yourself.
· If No, then try to understand the perception of the other person and help me to clear it.